Tuesday 23 February 2010
As Stated This Is A Blog
So today is a tuesday and i promised people on facebook a new blog tonight, well actually i didnt promise anyone anything i just stated on my status i was going to write a new blog. About what is the main thing i need to think about. So basically it starts off here, i got out my evening lecture not to long ago which is ridiculous and is now pretty hungry and thinking maybe i want food and perhaps i should make food. Food does sound good to me at the moment, what to have? It will probably have to be pasta and sauce because its tasty but mainly because i didnt get anything out the freezer, whoops. Right of to eat me thinks. Peace out readers and fellow bloggers X
Friday 19 February 2010
Alcohols Response
Dear Drinker,
I am delighted to hear you are shuch a fan, believe me, I go to great lengths to ensure that people like you have a good night and sometimes day as well. I understand your grievences but have to point out that there are a number of things that I do for you and the above is a small price to pay for my superior service.
1. Dancing - I hope you appreciate that when sober your dancing is at best bad. I transform you into a smooth finger clicking foot shuffling dancing genius whom all the girls just can't wait to get in bed with. This point also extends to ability at any sport that increases when inebriated, especially the macho ones such as arm wrestling.
2. Drinking ability - The more you indulge in me, the better drinker I make you until you feel like you can drink anyone under the table, even that russian woman who we don't talk about.
3. Beer goggles - simple, drink pleanty of alcohol and the number of attractive women around you doubles instantly
4. Beer Jacket - If none of them will keep you warm, I will.
5. Someone has to hug the toilet, and I give you enough courage to do it in front of everyone.
6. Finally, you're not going to get laid while you're sober are you?
Just to respond to a couple of points you made above, have you ever considered that you're not at all clumsy when drunk? It is simply the room moving unpredictably and if I hadn't made you into a highly tuned athelete when drunk, you would fall down immediately. You are however miraculously able to balance for a while before having a need to get your face as close as possible to the floor. I resent your point about hangovers. I do not induce hangovers. What makes you feel bad is that you no longer have any alcohol in you, don't blame me for you being unwilling to carry on drinking in the morning, if you carry on drinking, I will look after you but if you stop, that's your bad.
I hope that we can continue to be the best of friends.
Sincerely,
Alcohol
I am delighted to hear you are shuch a fan, believe me, I go to great lengths to ensure that people like you have a good night and sometimes day as well. I understand your grievences but have to point out that there are a number of things that I do for you and the above is a small price to pay for my superior service.
1. Dancing - I hope you appreciate that when sober your dancing is at best bad. I transform you into a smooth finger clicking foot shuffling dancing genius whom all the girls just can't wait to get in bed with. This point also extends to ability at any sport that increases when inebriated, especially the macho ones such as arm wrestling.
2. Drinking ability - The more you indulge in me, the better drinker I make you until you feel like you can drink anyone under the table, even that russian woman who we don't talk about.
3. Beer goggles - simple, drink pleanty of alcohol and the number of attractive women around you doubles instantly
4. Beer Jacket - If none of them will keep you warm, I will.
5. Someone has to hug the toilet, and I give you enough courage to do it in front of everyone.
6. Finally, you're not going to get laid while you're sober are you?
Just to respond to a couple of points you made above, have you ever considered that you're not at all clumsy when drunk? It is simply the room moving unpredictably and if I hadn't made you into a highly tuned athelete when drunk, you would fall down immediately. You are however miraculously able to balance for a while before having a need to get your face as close as possible to the floor. I resent your point about hangovers. I do not induce hangovers. What makes you feel bad is that you no longer have any alcohol in you, don't blame me for you being unwilling to carry on drinking in the morning, if you carry on drinking, I will look after you but if you stop, that's your bad.
I hope that we can continue to be the best of friends.
Sincerely,
Alcohol
Wednesday 17 February 2010
Bushies
Bushies tonight! With my boys Tom and Adam, gonna get smashed as per usual on a wednesday night! If it is anything like last week or the week before or Valentines night it will be epic, because its a good laugh! This was just a quickie, because thats how i like it ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Saturday 13 February 2010
Dear Alcohol
First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As
my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect
post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in
the holidays,hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're
stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately
I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe
that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence
has led to some unwise consequences:
1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is
important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of
substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make
me call those ex-girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want
to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?
2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest
that I eat a chicken burger, along with a side order of stale chips
(washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat...or a slice or
toast) I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this
time.
3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to
do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the
issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary,
and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the
next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than
45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock
4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting
ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's
debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is
completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the
proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products,
aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the
kitchen floor the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere
with my daily activities.
Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would
like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker
of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed
companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in
my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you
carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I
will look for an answer no later than Wednesday 3pm (pre-happy hour)
on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful
partnership.
Thank you,
Your biggest fan
my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect
post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in
the holidays,hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're
stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately
I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe
that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence
has led to some unwise consequences:
1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is
important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of
substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make
me call those ex-girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want
to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?
2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest
that I eat a chicken burger, along with a side order of stale chips
(washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat...or a slice or
toast) I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this
time.
3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to
do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the
issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary,
and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the
next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than
45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock
4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting
ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's
debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is
completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the
proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products,
aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the
kitchen floor the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere
with my daily activities.
Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would
like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker
of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed
companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in
my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you
carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I
will look for an answer no later than Wednesday 3pm (pre-happy hour)
on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful
partnership.
Thank you,
Your biggest fan
Thursday 4 February 2010
Man Weekend!
It's been a while since my last post so thought i would even put 2 new posts up to express my love for this blog. First one is that i cannot wait for man weekend, full of sport! Could it be better? Starts off tomorrow with a little bit of kareoke which is all good, and going to get my sing on. Then saturday morning i start Brazilian JiuJitsu sessions down in Butlers which is going to be intense. And then we got the England Vs Wales 6 nations game, come on England! Saturday evening slash sunday morning it's UFC109 which you will witness Couture destroying Coleman, a real hall of fame fight! Then thinking of organizing to play a little football with everyone, hopefully it wont be raining and then of course its the Superbowl which will be Saints Vs Colts and by the way it will be a Saints superbowl win! Cheers for reading everyone X
Monday 1 February 2010
Monday Morning And UFC
So this morning i had to get up at a ridiculous time of 7am after not getting to bed until 2am, so really i got about 4 and half hours sleep, this was because Me and Tom went round Jakes with Maria and Amy to watch a movie, after quite a few suggestions we all finally came to a suggestion of 'Old School' which is great so i was happy. But anyway i went into my lecture got there 30mins early which weren't to bad because i just went on the macs, when the lecturer finally came the lecture only ended up lasting about an hour so we finished 3 hours early! Im not complaining... During that time i got NFL Wembley tickets to see the greatest team in the history of the sport the 49ers! Me, Oli, Hogey and if its anything like the Pats game Smirnoff but im not sure. Gold rush cheerleaders as well, makes me happy! And trust me the cheerleader theory doesn't apply when its professionals. I then came back and started playing a bit of UFC and searching for MMA gyms in guildford area and found one perfect gym in Farnborough! Ace! Thats all for now X
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